I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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