Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
