some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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