I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I will be naked everywhere
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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