He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize