you turned your livingroom into a bong?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
