dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
