I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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