He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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