I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
