I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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