I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
