He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
