if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
