I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
