i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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