my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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