It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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