would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He better not be in your backpack
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
