As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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