I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I don't think brook has ever known best
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
