I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize