I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
