"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
