Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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