i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
