Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
And the cops told us we were all naked.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
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