I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
