a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
