Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
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i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
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If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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