new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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