I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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