don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
