i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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