She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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