Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
