I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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