We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
