I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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