why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Pooping to opera.
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