Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Too much gin, very little bucket
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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