She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
