That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
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I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
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I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
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