what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
