I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize