I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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