i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
