Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
