I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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