I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
