Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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