Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Randomize
