True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
