i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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