I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
