i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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