i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Of course I have a pirate flag
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
