Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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