My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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